November 24, 2013

Good news!  Sarah and David are suddenly talking to us and even want us back into their life.  As, I mentioned, David told me on Oct 27th that we still weren’t welcome into their home and over the next couple days I sent him a couple of text messages asking if we could talk about the issues we were having.  I received no response.

The turning point came on Sunday Nov. 3rd.  Susan and I had decided to fast that day specifically for help in resolving our issue with David and Sarah.  Susan had suggested several days earlier that I go into the Nursery on Sundays while Joselyn was there, and try to get to know her.  I wasn’t so sure it was a good idea.  Nevertheless, on that day, one of the nursery workers – Melanie Kirby, who’s a good friend of Susan’s, and knew our situation – apparently saw Susan and suggested we go into Nursery while Joselyn was there.  One of us needed to stay with our Primary class during Sharing Time so Susan told me she would stay and that I should go into Nursery.  I reluctantly did and was able to spend some time with Joselyn.  At the end of meetings, I was really happy that Susan had suggested I go in.  However, on the way home, I received a call from a very angry Sarah who told me that she felt betrayed and accused me of being “sneaky”.  She also said I’d undone any progress that she felt we were making in patching our relationship.  David then got on the phone and threatened to call the police if I went into Nursery again.

I was shaking and felt horrible at the end of the conversation although I felt I had handled myself pretty well with the exception of a threat to continue visiting with Joselyn in Nursery.  Susan also felt bad, feeling she was responsible for the blowup.  We didn’t know how we could go on with the tension on our relationship with David and Sarah.  We briefly discussed the possibility of moving out of the ward.  We decided we needed to talk to the Bishop.  We knew there wasn’t much he could do, but felt we had to talk to him anyway.  We were worried that rumors would be going around and wanted to at least let him know what was going on.  When we got home, I sent a text message to David apologizing for my actions and Susan sent a message to Sarah explaining how I happened to go into the Nursery.  I also called the Bishop and planned to meet with him during the week.

The next morning, I received a surprise call from David.  He was calm and invited us to their home that evening.  We were very nervous, but I felt good knowing they were finally willing to talk.  I was confident that things were going to improve.  When we got there David did most of the talking.  He started out by explaining that they didn’t need us in their lives – not what we were hoping to hear –  but he went on to say that although they didn’t need us, they wanted us back into their lives – not really sure why he needed to make his point that way.  But he went on to say that they were going to give us, or rather me, another chance.  They felt that I had just been too pushy about forcing Susan into their lives, and forcing them into a relationship with my siblings and extended family – at least that’s what I got out of it.  But they now wanted to let us back in.  In addition, a big surprise – Sarah announced that she was now okay with allowing Susan to develop a relationship with Joselyn.  That meant we were finally allowed to babysit her.  Sarah didn’t explain this change in position, but we didn’t feel like questioning her.  

We went home from the meeting feeling elated in our progress, although there was still some uneasiness.  We didn’t know if we could really trust them.  We were also wondering if maybe they just needed a cheap babysitter.  Regardless, we knew we were making progress and were humbled at how quickly our prayers were being answered after our fast.

Since then, we have babysat once and sat with them during Stake Conference.  Today, Sarah offered to let us interact a little with Joselyn after church.  We (especially me) are feeling a lot better, although far being completely comfortable.  Susan is especially unsure of how to behave around them.  It will take time.

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